Balneus

Australian Lefty on Politics, Governance, Science and Info Management

Archive for the ‘Humor’ Category

The Chaucer Wedding Ban

Posted by Dave Bath on 2011-04-28

The Chaser’s Royal Cockup Performance Cut … why?

Perhaps the royals were worried about crudity, given what The Chaucer authored last time after seeing DCameron.

Goe uppe the ille, ryght uppe the myddel,
goe downe the knayve, the ryng than twyddel.
We practysed words, the dressyes mocked up,
for we do and don’t want ryght royle cock up.

- The Commoner’s Tail

For those readers who don’t get it D.Cameron is British PM, while Prince Gay Otter is the alternate title of The Decameron by Boccaccio, a series of often bawdy tales which inspired Geoffrey Chaucer to pen Canterbury Tales.


Posted in Humor, International, Media | Tagged: , | 1 Comment »

Easter Mondegreen

Posted by Dave Bath on 2011-04-23

O Eggsy Day – Quit all this piggin’ ’til Monday!

And yes folks, with Zombie Dei, take good care of your brains.

Tattoo of Jesus Zombie

Brains ... Brains ... I want to eat your brains

Posted in Humor, Language Use | Leave a Comment »

Dumb marketing or dumb market

Posted by Dave Bath on 2011-02-06

On the back of today’s Age "Sunday Life" fluff liftout is an ad that made my jaw drop – mentions St Valentine’s day, romantic picture of a couple walking under blossoming trees, picture of the products (jewellery)…

… but the brand name… "Pandora"!

Ever heard the common phrase "Opening up a Pandora’s Box"?

I wondered if the person suggesting that name was an idiot, a cynic after a very ugly marriage, or thought it a nice sound while assessing the wealthy demographics as untutored… or probably two out of three.

The message for the guy buying the ring? "The girl might have a lot going for her, apart from trustworthiness – things will get really ugly with the worst things happening – things so bad you’d never heard of them before – and there won’t be even a glimmer of hope."

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Posted in Economics and Business, Education, History, Humor, Language Use | Tagged: , , , , | Leave a Comment »

No Choices Left Conroy

Posted by Dave Bath on 2011-02-06

It's time to kick ass and assign IPv4 addresses - and I'm all out of IPv4 addresses - said by big tough guy

Mind you - some IPv6 would make me calm again


Who is our Minister for Broadband, Communications and the Digital Economy and what has he done to address this by bringing in IPv6?

Isn’t he one of the righties in the ALP who is so against acting on climate issues?

For more background – go to: "Internet runs out of addresses: a model for climate policy inaction" (2011-02-04) and follow the links.

Posted in Australia, Economics and Business, Humor, Information Management, International, Politics | Tagged: , , | 1 Comment »

Pastor No-Allah and the Press Conference

Posted by Dave Bath on 2011-02-04

Pastor Danny No-Allah, again in the wake of disasters causing much cost and misery, gave out a press release proving not only that his deity exists but that his direct line to the Big El is completely without the bugs of worldly telecoms providers (with atheist shareholders – glitches are only to be expected).

The amount of water falling on Australia is a clear demonstration of the power of our prayers a little while ago, when the nation was afflicted by drought.  It proves I’m the Voice of The Lord currently incarnated in Australia.

No-Allah’s usual detractors point out that there could be some truth in this – No-Allah is a destructive windbag, something consistent with No-Allah’s leanings to primitive Judaism rather than the love and tolerance preached by Jesus.  One of them gave an explanation:

Look at Psalm 29, it’s pretty clear that it’s a storm god, a bit of a crib from the older stories Abraham grew up with, the ones about Enlil, the sky-fairy who did the hard work flooding the world wiping out the population except for the household of Utnapishtim/Noah – check out the Gilgamesh Epic for the pre-Abrahamic origins of that story.

As usual, No-Allah’s theological sophistication, insight and logic was on display:

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Posted in Australia, Humor, Politics, Theology and Religion | Tagged: , | Leave a Comment »

Jan 26 – color matters

Posted by Dave Bath on 2011-01-26

I just discovered that January 26 has a significant event, and that color is the issue, and will be remembered all around the world.

OK, not really that significant: Facebook End Colorblind Confusion (For a Day…) – "please" attend by wearing an uncolored shirt – white, grey or black.

Yep…. we aren’t colorblind, we are color confused, we’ll mix them up, give them the wrong name, have trouble if they are similar saturations… (resources to test and simulate what we see over the fold)

So as an example of the 1-in-20 males with characteristics essential to survival of the human race a hundred thousand years ago, the guy in the hunting party who wasn’t fooled by mainstream camouflage, the one who said "throw your spears and rocks over there" at something we wanted to eat, or wanted to eat us, I offer a few giggles, hopefully for all of us, although for different reasons.

Now, I’m told I might need to be careful with one of the following images – but I cannot tell which for sure.

Give Love To The Colorblind 1


Give Love To The Colorblind 2


More images, and some references to tests and simulations so you normal folk can see what we see over the fold.

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Posted in Biology and Health, Civil rights, Humor, Science and Tech, Society | 6 Comments »

Wikileaks Elf Arrested

Posted by Dave Bath on 2010-12-10

An elf was taken into custody by North Pole Fairy Police, on suspicious of providing Wikileaks with the Naughty and Nice database, some of which was published today, the rest to be released over coming weeks.

The furore has been labelled "Santagate" by some.

"It’s totally irresponsible of wikileaks to make this available." said a Toy Industry spokesperson.  "This will have a disastrous impact on sales of toys, putting many manufacturers at risk of bankruptcy."

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Posted in Humor, Politics | Tagged: | Leave a Comment »

The real way to explain election results

Posted by Dave Bath on 2010-08-27

Want an explanation of the last few elections and the real cause of the hung parliament?

Go here: "Bogan Bribe Watch August 27th".

Do we laugh or cry at the probable truths?

Posted in Australia, Humor, Politics | 1 Comment »

Not the nine o-clock-ish news

Posted by Dave Bath on 2010-06-24

A post in the Madame-la-Gillardine-and-faceless-men-free zone… a pot-pourri of links for those of you who want read something else.

Bonus funny over the fold: a photo I took (outside my place) of a kludge that could well end in a FAIL

  1. A Funny:
    xkcd on trumpets (and those vuvuwhatever thingies) Toot, and for those of you using a dain-bramaged web browser (yes, Redmond’s) that doesn’t show alt text when hovering over an image…. the bonus alt text is "This is also one of only five identified situations in which a vuvuzela is actually appropriate".  And the other four are….?
    The xkcd toot

    Toot


     
  2. Some Economics:
    Soros on the crash, the Euro, and Germany with the following snippets:
    The crash:
    The authorities had to do in the short-term the exact opposite of what was needed in the long-term: they had to pump in a lot of credit, to replace the credit that had disappeared, and thereby reinforce the excess credit and leverage that had caused the crisis in the first place.  Only in the longer term, when the crisis had subsided, could they drain the credit and reestablish macro-economic balance.

    The Euro and Germany:

    First, the current crisis is more a banking crisis than a fiscal one.

    Second, a tightening of fiscal policy must be offset by a loosening of monetary policy.

    Third, this is the time to put idle resources to work by investing in education and infrastructure.

     

  3. Musings about academia and science:
    "In which we stand on the shoulders of midgets" Jennifer Rohn, research scientist and novellist, makes a persuasive argument in favor of second-(or third)-tier papers (therefore journals and institutions) as being oft critical to the development of ideas behind blockbuster papers published in Nature and the like.  I reckon it’s a must read for those planning funding of education, industry development, and future human capital.  There might also be parallels in changes to law and judgements.
     
  4. On society/economics/politics:
    "The Hard Work of Measuring Social Impact" from Harvard Business School Working Knowledge. 
    While the focus is on how non-profits can measure mission success objectively, there are obvious parallels with assessing the success of governments and indeed political systems.  (See my ideas on measuring overall government performance easily in "Missing in Action: The Key KPI for Government").
    Donors are placing nonprofits on the hot seat to measure social performance.  Problem is, there is little agreement on what those metrics should be.  Professor Alnoor Ebrahim on how nonprofit managers should respond

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Posted in Australia, Economics and Business, Europe, Governance, Humor, Politics, Science and Tech, Society | Leave a Comment »

Holiday Hit

Posted by Dave Bath on 2010-04-03

Zombie Dei

Posted in Humor, Theology and Religion | Leave a Comment »

Rapping up the boom and bust

Posted by Dave Bath on 2010-01-30

HT: "Boy do I recommend this – Hayek vs Keynes: the video clip" Peter Martin (2010-01-29).

Posted in Economics and Business, Humor, Politics | Leave a Comment »

The best phone accessory ever?

Posted by Dave Bath on 2010-01-06

The new Google phone (the Nexus One) is certainly causing a stir… and it certainly looks neat, but at the launch (see the photogallery at ars technica), it seems that Google have come up with a stylish and very useful accessory for mobile phones that Apple hasn’t thought of, judging by the following unaltered photograph.

It’s a TINKERBELL.

Photograph from the launch of the Google Nexus One phone with what appears to be a tinkerbell by the phone (actually the phone is a giant live model)

Google Nexus One phone and Tinkerbell Accessory

Posted in Humor, Information Management | Leave a Comment »

A Very Kenny Xmas To You

Posted by Dave Bath on 2009-12-23

A more animated post than usual this season, but I’d also like to wish all readers Io Saturnalia! (heathen that I am).

Animated image of author in South Park style getting squashed by Xmas Prezzies

A Very Kenny Xmas

Hopefully your browser will display animated gifs, at least once.  Even more hopefully, you’ll recognize the South Park theme… and I hope I haven’t offended anyone who lip-reads.

And if you think it’s got a hint of criticism about commercialism of festive seasons… yep!

Couldn’t have done it without The Gimp.

Posted in Humor | 3 Comments »

Another miracle

Posted by Dave Bath on 2009-12-23

With saints declared because of a medical success rate (among those that pray to the saint for a cure) equivalent to waving a dead chicken, and the same people often claiming miraculous appearances of religious figures in mundane objects such as a fried egg or squirt of sauce on a pie, it worth noting a miraculous appearance of a "virgin mary" in something that actually IS medically effective.

Virgin Mary miraculously appears in a condom

A catholic condom?

Yep… a condom… you’re guess whether used or just unwrapped.

And you can almost see the baby Jesus nestling up to a shoulder.

Hat tips to Friendly Atheist via Pharyngula

Posted in Humor, Theology and Religion | 1 Comment »

KRudd edurcashunal standurds FAIL

Posted by Dave Bath on 2009-12-01

The KRudd "Education Revolution" is perhaps driven by the spelling standards of those pumping out his media releases… or maybe he isn’t a control freak after all if headlines like the following get through.

How many eyes run over his media releases before being put up at the official ALP website?  It must be easier to stop such a glaring error than an important number about our economy!

For both images, click to get a larger version in all there horibull gloury.

First, the list of media releases from http://www.alp.org.au/media/ (which will change tomorrow, I’d imagine).

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Posted in Australia, Humor, Information Management, Language Use, Media, Politics | 1 Comment »

 
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